Beyond the Grave

Thank you, SM.

I’ve had a royally shit couple of weeks at work, and I was dreading today. I was perilously close to going AWOL and telling them all to stick it. The only reason I didn’t was because of you.

It felt so real. At work, the meeting room, in dress down because of the heat. You were purposely leaning towards my seat with your leg across my leg space. I sat down so that my leg touched yours, playing secret dangerous footsie like we used to. Then you leaned in and told me you still loved me.

My first reaction was extreme joy. Elation. Then I remembered that this couldn’t be real as you are dead. I told myself to enjoy it while it lasts. I don’t remember the rest of the dream.

I woke up feeling shite. Crap day ahead, and my dreams are taunting me. However, it dawned on me, whilst I brushed my teeth, that I could interpret this another way. A message from you to be strong;  that I can do this. And of course, that you still love me.

And so I got through today, thanks to you. It was shit but I did it by remembering your message. Please come again soon – although it hurt when reality hit, the good bit was worth it.

I love you, SM.  Until we meet again, x.

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PS I Love You

Oh, SM, I’m in tears. Tears of happiness, love,  sadness and overwhelming loss.

I’ve just found the note you left in my work notebook. Must have been last June, before I went on maternity leave but when we were together. A huge shock, this message beyond the grave, but a bittersweet one.

I’m so glad I didn’t find it at work! It’s now safely stored with your letter, a stone I picked up and kept as a talisman, and the bottle of water you left behind after your last night here, on Earth. I’ll treasure it forever.